For the past few weeks I’ve noticed a trend at my current workplace. Running and maintaining a successful college system requires many key ingredients, including the use and distribution of fliers, signs, brochures, etc. It’s understandable that we would use extraneous amounts of paper, but what instantly comes to mind when I ponder over the “overusage” of paper is this one friendly Korean lady who picks up fives registration sheets a day. She comes by around noon to pick up her “daily five,” five sheets of freshly printed registration sheets. Once she’s done killing half of the Kingwood Forest, she hands me this sheet to rearrange her schedule. Anyone would easily be annoyed by this irrational indecisiveness, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to faze me, partially because I’ve attained a robot-like quality in the ability to handle redundant and monotonous tasks. (this isn’t always a good thing)
After careful analysis, I’ve come to the conclusion that she is the cause of deforestation and flooding in the greater Houston area.
- she takes five sheets a day
- she turns in one a day
QUESTION: WHAT DOES SHE DO WITH ALL THE OTHER PAPERS? SHE TRASHES THEM…PROBABLY DOESN’T RECYCLE EITHER.
FACT: A small tree about 4′ 4 produces about 95,000 sheets of paper.
LET’S DO THE MATH: 95,000 – 5(365) = deforestation (93,125)
- she kills about a third of a tree a year
- her extreme use of paper (tree massacre) leads to the lack of trees
- the lack of trees leads to flooding
“Aha,” says Detective Ari. Is this not brilliant (or extremely nonsensical)?! Ok, I’ll stop now.
This might be far fetched, but I’m bored and have concocted such a theory to entertain myself. Here’s to a somewhat productive day!
Love,
Ari
